Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Happy Flowers

Hey all! Nothing about this post is fashionable but strictly about life and lessons. I'm really writing for me but in doing that it may help one. I spoke with an old and dear friend yesterday. We talked about all of the things that I've been stuffing in trying to peaceful, cordial, classy, and just me. We talked about how perceptions that people have of me or the ones I think they have of me, effect me. They shouldn't. We talked about how for so long I've chosen darkness instead of happiness. By default! Seriously, by damn default. I've chosen to pick the dead flowers among the beautiful, bright, happy flowers and I dwell on them. When I say it's by default, I mean I was brought up and experienced disappointment and loss at early age then throughout my upbringing so often that I became conditioned to expecting it. Even in the sunshine and blue skies (shout out to Sampha! Get his album) I expect the sadness or disappointment to come. "Any minute now.... this is too good to be true...... wait-do something to sabotage your joy and your happy future before it's taken from you". Subconsciously, a lot of us do that. The enemy does that.

So how do we pick the happy flowers? We just do! Choose to pick the brightness for your life. It's easy to be in sorrow and dwell on your misfortunes. It's easy to live in the past and watch your past move on to a future without you while you're still trying to recover from the accidents and wrecks of it all. It's easy to wonder what people think of you as a woman, mother, and professional! It's easy to doubt yourself and ALL OF THE GREATNESS YOU GENUINELY HAVE. How easy is it to forget how dope you are!? It's also that simple to pick the good out of all the negative  in the misdst. I didn't know how. I don't know how. I've been confident with doubt. I've been moving on but stuck. I've been forgiving myself but dwelling. I've been peaceful but bitter. I've been joyous but grieving. When the truth of the matter(s) is/are, you can't be both. You can't believe with no faith. You can't  shine your light when you keep dimming your own flame. There's good in EVERY situation.

There is value in loss. You may not get that right now but you will. There are lessons from my life that I believe are supposed to be shared. Let me tell you... I have been disrespected and belittled from so many for so many reasons and some for no reason at all. Yoooooooo! I'm still standing. I am learning that some battles I don't have to fight or if I fight them I may not need to win. Life is hard but it's also short. We see that daily. So pick the happy flowers to make the best of it. I'll help you if you help me!

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